Sunday, September 25, 2011

Patience…I Don’t Have Any Yet

According to Ralph Waldo Emerson” the philosophy of waiting is sustained by all the oracles of the universe". Waiting is a problem for me and while I'm dealing with a chronic illness  I'm learning that it's even more of a problem because I am not exactly patient.  I've said before I'm dealing with a really bad episode of arthritis that has affected my hands and my neck. Since my job involves writing/typing and the use of my hands this is a really big problem for me. Today is the first time I'm actually using a program to speak to my computer. It's weird having to train my brain to talk rather than type. But I'm grateful that I have this option to be able to continue my work. I'm also grateful that I have people at work who have been very supportive and to have helped me obtain the programs and equipment that I needed to do my job, work with students, write books and to continue to write blogs. Still getting used to a new medicine as well that I need in order to feel better is not easy at the same time. In fact, the medicine is making me feel worse. I'm tired, I have chills, and I have fevers. Today I read the little insert that comes with the medicine and guess what?????  Those are all side effects of the drugs.   This leads me back to needing to be patient. Patience is not one of my best qualities. So I start reading my daily reflections on patience. And it tells me "I need only to look and see that things happen in their own time. The resolution of each problem has its own timetable. No amount of wishing, wringing of hands or raging will affect that change. Acceptance is the simple act of going through what is presently facing me, be it pain, anger, despair, hopelessness or their opposites. When life as it really is becomes a fact that I accept as naturally as I breathe, events lose their power to throw me off balance or disturb the basic rhythm of my life." Maybe today I can practice what I just read.

1 comment:

  1. I think you will getting better. I am also a impatient person, but sometimes I have to push myself be patient due to the specific situation. Then I will give myself five minutes to lose mind,but just 5 minutes. And after 5 minutes I told myself I am a patient person and do the next thing. Or you can talk to a patient friend.